Bloody Mary- Not Just a Breakfast Food
In honor of the Spooky Sisterhood Slumber Party on Friday, I thought this week we'd talk about one of my earliest childhood sleepover memories- Bloody Mary.
Image from PBS's Monstrum- S5, E2
Normally, for something that is such a common shared experience among folks, I wouldn't spend much time digging into the background and the details of the practice as much, but the fun thing about this frightful party game is that the history and details are quite varied and steeped in legend (and fact?). So we're diving right in.
Depending on your age and where you grew up, there's a strong chance that you played this game differently than what I'll describe, but I played as a Methodist tween in a small suburban city in the mountains of Southwestern Virginia, among a bevvy of middle-class, white, Southern Baptist girls. As you can imagine, our version seems in retrospect to have been a much more mild version than in other circles.
As we were taught- each girl would go into the bathroom alone, in the pitch dark, and face the mirror. She'd then say "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary" and stare into the mirror as (supposedly) an angry witch would appear in the mirror and "get you", unless you chickened out and turned on the light or ran out, of course. Which I'm pretty sure we all did, at least that first time.
Now, if you get online to look up the way you play the game, there are several variations, and I recall having a debate with college friends in my dorm building about the "proper" way to play it. One of the girls mentioned that she was taught that a bloodied Queen Mary would appear, but not cause you any harm, just frighten you. Another mentioned that a beautiful woman would appear but then turn into a bloody hag after you were entranced, and would attack you (a la The Ring, I suppose?). Regardless, the common denominator was, you guessed it, a bloody visage of someone named Mary. Who would have ever guessed?!
Image from Bill Ellis, Lucifer Ascending: The Occult in Folklore and Popular Culture
Naturally the question then must be asked- who is THE Mary that is haunting our mirrors and WHY is she bloody? And, naturally, where did this all come about?
Dr. Emily Zarka hosts a show on PBS called Monstrum, which dives into the mythology behind monsters, and they did a great episode on Bloody Mary (Season 5, Episode 2). One thing that Dr. Zarka points out is that the mystery and vagueness behind this ritual is likely not an accident- it's part of what makes it so scary, and that's what makes it so fun. When you're unsure of exactly what to expect, that gray area causes our anxiety.
That carries into other parts of the ritual as well- particularly that it must take place in a dark room. Whether you're afraid of the dark or not, the fact of the matter is that in the dark, there's much we cannot see, or cannot know, and that sparks our animal instinct to be more on alert in order to protect ourselves. In some versions of this game, it's said you must use a single candle to light the room. While this does make it easier to see, and diminishes some of that fear of the dark unknown, it also is associated with rituals and the occult, which to many (including my little group of Protestant pre-teens) carries the stigma of fear as well.
Mirrors, the second piece of the puzzle, are deeply connected with the occult and divination. The practice of staring into a mirror in the dark in order to receive a non-reflective vision has been recorded since ancient times, and is often referred to as catoptromancy or scrying. The theory is that if you clear your mind and focus, staring into the dark void will show you things you otherwise wouldn't be able to see.
Fortune-teller Svetlana by Karl Bryullov
Skeptics, of both scrying AND the Bloody Mary game, would say that this is truly just an instance of either pareidolia or hallucinations that stem from entering a trance-like state during the meditative portion of the event.
Chanting a name rhythmically, over and over, not only invokes fear due to the ritualistic nature of the game and the anticipation of what is to come, but it helps the participant enter that trance, priming their mind to receive whatever images may come, whether truly realized or as part of some sort of hallucination or delusion.
At the time the game seemed to appear on the scene, in the late 1800s, early 1900s, there were several factors that could contribute to where this came from and why. This period of time was the spiritualist boom, where spirit boards and seances took the world by storm. Naturally, that means folks at this time would likely be familiar with the idea of scrying and other divination tools. The idea of staring into a mirror in the dark and chanting a refrain was probably the least unique part of this process at the time.
As Dr. Zarka mentions, it's also likely that folks at this time were familiar with a certain British royal who had earned an unfortunate nickname that she shares with this party trick- Mary Tudor (Queen Mary I), or commonly, Bloody Mary.
María Tudor, reina de Inglaterra y esposa de Felipe II by Antonis Mor
Queen Mary I's reign has been known infamously throughout history as one fraught with violence and religious persecution. Under her rule, hundreds of protestants throughout England were burned at the stakes for heresy in an attempt to reverse The Reformation. After her sister Elizabeth I took the throne, Mary's efforts were thwarted, though the damage had been done, and she took on the nickname Bloody Mary.
Due to the fact that this would have been commonly known for quite some time before the game began, and (obviously) due to the names matching, Mary I is often thought to be the namesake of the legend. As mentioned before, depending on the region where the game is played, other famous women (not all named Mary, believe it or not) are potential candidates as well, including Elizabeth Bathory (The Blood Countess of Hungary), Mary Worth (either a witch who lured children to their deaths then killed them in order to remain youthful- sound familiar? *sings* Come little children I'll taaaake thee awaayyyy...- OR a monstrous woman from Illinois who would murder escaped slaves or send them back south to claim reward money), and Mary Whales (either a hitchhiking ghost of a woman who died in a tragic accident OR a monstrous woman who would murder escaped slaves or send them back south to claim reward money- yeah, sounds familiar right?).
Aside from the absolutely horrifying Elizabeth Bathory, there's no evidence that either Mary Worth Or Mary Whales is an actual person. There are other names thrown into the mix as well but those are the most common. (Side note: if you want to never sleep again, go look up Elizabeth Bathory- but BIG TIME content warnings on what you'll find. Think HH Holmes but about three centuries earlier, a woman, and in a Hungarian castle).
Image for Bloody Mary in the Mirror by Alan Dundes
To fully switch gears but give one more potential backstory to this legend, folklorist Alan Dundes, among others, suggests that this sleepover staple is actually a way for young women to process the fears surrounding puberty and the onset of menstruation. Dr. Zarka discusses the ties to the use of a bathroom mirror to ritualize this game, which is a place that preteens spend countless hours viewing themselves and wondering over their changing images, which naturally lends to the idea of staring at their faces in the darkness and not recognizing what looks back at you.
Combining that with the fear and stigma around periods, and some versions of the legend involving blood coming from the faucets or seeing a beautiful but bloody young woman gazing back at you from the mirror, the connections aren't difficult to see.
Regardless of where or why this rite of passage started, or whom it's actually based upon, most of us have been locked in a dark bathroom, staring at our own young faces, scared of what we might see at least once in our tween or teen years, something upon which our spooky sisterhood can bond.
Before I wrap up today's very long post, in case you're wondering, the Bloody Mary drink ALSO has a varied and mysterious origin. Several people and several bars lay claim to inventing the brunch staple, and no one can agree on the namesake for the cocktail, either. But because it's a Sunday and we've had a long weekend, here's how you can make one for yourself. As always, please drink responsibly. And until next time, Happy Haunting!
